It All Becomes “Just Normal”

When one arrives in a foreign country, in an area of the world where one has never been before, so much is new and unusual.  But over time, we adapt, and we stop seeing what once was strange.  It all becomes “just normal” which is one of the most common Jordanian phrases that I hear when I ask about something.  And now, so much is truly “just normal” in my eyes.

When I go to the ladies room at the university, I think it is normal to have to take my own toilet paper.  I am not surprised to see a colleague washing her feet in the sink before she prays.  In any rest room and at our apartment here, I am well trained to place the paper in the “poopy paper bucket” next to the toilet rather than flushing it.

Poopy Paper Bucket in the Bathroom in our Apartment

[click on the photo to enlarge it]

all photos by Ed Quigley

 I think it is normal to see a woman in a black abaya, veiled, sneaking her food under the veil.

Veiled Lady

Beeping horns, chaotic traffic, reading in the Jordan Times that 22 newly placed traffic cameras recorded 3400 violations on their first day – all normal. I'm not even surprised by the report that the first recorded traffic violator was a police car.

Not having my own car has become normal.  At first I missed it so much.  Now, I rarely think of what it would be like to just jump in and go wherever I want.  When we have rented car in Greece, Cyprus, Dubai or here in Jordan, Ed has done the driving.  I hope that I have not forgotten how to drive!

I always remember not to extend my hand to a man, unless he indicates that he will shake hands with a woman.  The early feelings of discomfort at being not good enough to be acknowledged in the same way that he would acknowledge a man are gone.  It is “just normal”.

Isn't it normal to go into a café for a cup of tea and see 80% of the people puffing away on shisha (water pipe)?  Reading in the Jordan Times that the majority of lawmakers are still smoking under the Dome of Parliament in violation of the public health law is no surprise.

Man Smoking an Argileh 

(When there is no cafe handy, you can always bring your own waterpipe.)

No mail delivery to the homes is of course “just normal”.  If you want mail, you can get a mailbox in the post office, if you can find the post office.  I still have not seen one in my neighborhood, in spite of many hours of wandering the streets.  A man who has lived in our building for 25 years also does not know where the post office is located.

Photocopied books which at first made me feel guilty to even touch them are “just normal”.  No local library; again “just normal”.

Hearing the Friday sermon broadcast on the loudspeaker from the mosque is normal too.  Wouldn’t you expect that everyone should be allowed to hear it, even if they chose not to attend?  And of course the call to prayer five times a day starting now before 5 A.M. is barely noticed.  Until we changed to summer time near the end of March, it was around 4 A.M., and because it is based on sunrise, it gets earlier every day.

Mosque Near the City of Salt

(The loud speakers are near the top of the minaret.)

Seeing pictures of the King everywhere, often in a trio with his father, King Hussein who died more than 15 years ago, and his son, Hussein, the Crown Prince is so common that I don’t even notice it anymore. 

 The King Above a Store in Amman

(Just below the King is a picture of his whole family.)

Having a taxi driver tell you “no meter; 5 JD”, doesn’t even cause me to blink.  Mostly I either demand that he use the meter or I just get out of the taxi.  Although I have to confess, one day I had had enough.  I raised my voice and said “Just because I’m Western, doesn’t mean I’m stupid”.  He stopped and let me out rather than use the meter which would have resulted in a ride that cost about 1.4 JD rather than 5 JD.

Walking in the street because the sidewalks are obstructed with trees, piles of gravel, trash, merchandise or cars parked helter skelter is normal.

Merchandise and Trash Obstructing a Sidewalk in our Neighborhood

I am not surprised by hearing (or saying) Insha’Allah multiple times in a conversation, or by planning class break for prayer time.

Seeing men walking down the street arm in arm or seeing Ed be taken by the hand as a man is showing him the way is also normal.

Not being given a precise address is normal; why would you want to be able to go directly to your destination without having to describe it as near the Burger King, or behind Kempinski?

I have (almost) gotten used to not seeing any pork in the stores or on a menu.  I do still miss a glass of wine with a meal, and an Easter ham dinner would be a wonderful treat.  Of course Easter Sunday is just another work day here.

What would shock me?  Seeing a man and woman, even husband and wife, have a little public kiss.  Seeing a woman’s shoulders and bare arms.  Seeing a woman’s knees.

In spite of it all becoming “just normal” here in Jordan, I am looking forward to returning to my old normal in mid-June when we arrive in Boston.

We will be traveling in Israel next week so I will not post another blog until around April 25th.